Double a douche
by Kanalith
Summary: When Krieg thinks a light is out he puts out sanctuary. Also a his inner voice starts to stir and it comes out of him for the first time in years. Find out the truth behind Krieg and his uselessness at using double a batteries(i know random).
1. Chapter 1

Krieg somehow knew this would end the crimson raiders. If the power went out while everyone was sleeping and Krieg knew he had to fix it. He ran as fast as he could which was really fast to the center of the floating city and took out his buzz ax. _Remember we used to fix these all the time just don't…. _Krieg's inner voice was cut off by the sound of his buzz ax ripping through the wiring of the city screaming **OUR SAVIOR WAS OUR MEAT BYCYCLE**. Before the city came down Krieg's inner voice said his first word for a while out of Krieg's mouth _Crap!_


	2. Chapter 2

As the giant floating city of sanctuary fell down Krieg woke up the other vault hunters by yelling **OUR SAVIOR WAS OUR MEAT BYCYCLE** everyone woke up screaming. "What did you do Krieg?!" Maya half yelled half asked **I'VE GOT THE SHINIEST MEAT BYCYCLE **Maya called scooter and said "Scooter! Krieg sunk the city!" on the other end of the phone Scooter dashed to the center of Sanctuary and started repairing wires with the help of Marcus and Zed while Moxxi tried to contain the crowd. Krieg ran around the center as Scooter explained to Krieg what happened. Gaige came in and screamed "God I think my blackout machine destroyed Sanctuary!" Scooter said "No that was Krieg trying to fix the blackout!" Gaige then said "That makes more sense."

Then the city fell and wiped out the bloodshot stronghold.

In the bloodshot stronghold

Flanksteak walked out of his 'house' and breathed in the Pandora air. He went on a stroll only to be crushed by a familiar floating city.

Back in Sanctuary

Roland finally respawned to see that sanctuary crushed the bloodshot stronghold. "We need to contact Brick!" and ran to Lilith's room. Lilith was lounging in her room thinking about what to do when Roland broke in and said "We need to contact Brick!" Lilith's jaw dropped.


	3. Chapter 3

"I think we just crushed Flanksteak!" said Gaige. Roland replied "Just like the Wizard of Oz but weirder!" Everyone looked at him not knowing what he was talking about. "You know 1900s classic?" said Roland then Salvador came out and said "I do amigo! And Scooby doo is fantastic!" The two fist bumped.

Lilith walked out of her room and said "Crashing sanctuary wasn't our only! Look the bloodshot!" entering phasewalk and torching bloodshot psychos. Krieg yell at the top of his lungs **BLOODSHOTS STAND BY THE MEAT BYCYCLE**. Roland asked Maya "What is he talking about?" Maya replied "We saw this earlier Krieg is considered and Alpha psycho and anything below him can be obtained as followers." The bloodshot psychos instantly stood straight up and marched over to Krieg. **KILL THOSE MAURADERS **Krieg shouted. Interestingly the psychos obeyed until they hit the badass. That badass was also an Alpha psycho named Taco Menace who shouted **FOLLOW YOUR BROTHER BLOODSHOT PSYCHOS **then something appeared behind Taco menace's back and stabbed him.

It was Zer0. "Go get them psycho/I'll hold off all the badasses/take it from here Krieg" **THE HOLY MEAT BYCYCLE FOLLOW IT** all the psychos obeyed and sliced the marauders.


	4. Chapter 4

After the battle which was so bloody, guts and carcasses were strewn all around the floor with psychos picking them for food. Some other psychos which might be the 'smarter' psychos were building Krieg his 'meat throne' in his room which somehow was in the bottom of sanctuary and also survived the crash. The smartest psychos came up to Krieg and said "My lord!" and kneeled before his 'most bloody meatiness' "The rest of the psychos are scavenging for more limbs. Should we add this to your throne?" holding up Taco Menace's head. **YES GIVE ME THE MEXICAN FOOD KILLER'S SKULL **yelled Krieg "as you wish your bloody meatiness!" said the smart psycho running back to tell the others to remove Taco's flesh.

Maya and Scooter came in Krieg's 'throne room'. "Wow I've never been down here and is that... Ewwwww" said Maya. Scooter went over to Krieg and said "one this is amazing! Two nice meat throne, my uncle Trevor had one but this one is EPIC! Three it turns out all you had to do was put double a batteries into sanctuary not cut the damn thing out of the sky!" Krieg's psycho guards came in and said **Bloody meat master them kept coming in we tried to keep them out but they no go **Krieg looked the psycho in the eyes and yelled **FRIENDS** then the guards went back to their post.

Some psychos came in soon and said **May we worship the holy meat bicycle and you Bloody meat master? **Krieg held up his buzz axe and the psychos bowed down in front of it. Maya whispered to Scooter "Firehawk all over again."


	5. Chapter 5

"Hey hey hey sanctuary citizens. Double T in da house!" Tiny Tina yelled while walking to the Crimson Raider Base. "Hey Brick! Sup Lily! Hi Mordy! Hola Sal! … Zer0! Gutan tag Maya! Salam Axton! Heyo Gaige! Gimmi five Clappy!" She hi five Claptrap and what caught her eye was…. "Roland!" and hugged the soldier.

Roland said to Tina "Um look about your room….. Krieg owns it now with his army of psychos so you get his room." Tina said "Ok… does it still smell like butts and dead people?" everybody cracked up at that. When Tina got to her new room she noticed something on the wall a photo of the vault hunters with Ellie, Scooter, Moxxi, Mister Torgue, Tina, Claptrap, Zed, Marcus, Rocko, Steve, Angel and Sir Hammerlock. On Tina there was a half badly drawn and half perfect with a line drawn and the words that were written said 'niece' Tina looked at those words as her eyes somehow grew bigger.


	6. Chapter 6

Sorry dudes (and dudettes) sorry for the 1 day wait I've been playing Pokémon X so much check out mah Pokémon fanfics.

Krieg was twirling his buzz axe and a scream and explosion was heard and Krieg shouted **BOOM BOOM GIRL THERE BRING HER IN NOW **and a scorched psycho who could have passed as a flaming psycho brought in Tiny Tina who was holding two things a picture that looked vaguely familiar and what was labeled nuke.

"I'm your niece!" Tina said. **CRAZY BOOM BOOM GIRL SAY WHAT** Krieg yelled **YOUR FROM OUR INNER FAMILY** then a strange thing happened for a minute Krieg's body changed into a man about the height as Zer0 the man looked old with thin lines of white hair and in his hand held Krieg's signature buzz axe which now was upgraded into a chain sword. Also had the same lazy eye problem as Tina. The man had some trouble speaking before he said _I am Krieg!_


	7. Chapter 7

Sorry guys again with a break in the story I'm going to stop with that and start writing. Let see….. oh yeah.

Krieg stood up and walked towards Tina while sheathing his sword and hugged her. _Tina. It's been so long. They experimented my and turned me into… well the other guy. What happened to Kyle?_ Tina looked at Krieg with innocent eyes and pulled out a small grenade wrapped in a red dress and Krieg said _Your father was a brave man. What about Katrina?_ Tina looked as if she would cry and pulled out a necklace. Krieg looked down _So your mom didn't make it either. How about Lucy? _Tina started to cry and said "She gone also." The vault hunters busted in and ran to Krieg with weapons up and Roland spoke "Who are you?" Gaige looked and the man and looked shocked "You…. You are K. Silverworth, ace mechanic, inventor of the buzz awe and chain sword and only other eridium expert besides Dr. Patricia Tannis! I'm your biggest fan!" Roland shushed Gaige and said "Tina you know him?"

Tina said "He is my father's brother.." Mordicai cut her off and said "you mean uncle?" Tina gave Mordicai the evil eye and continued "He was brought by Jack to build better bots, but he wouldn't without…" Gaige cut her off "Kyle Silerworth his brother" Tina gave her the evil eye and continued "So me and my family packed up and left. When we got there Jack accused us of helping Jakobs and used us as test subjects. Eventually my father found a bomb and ran with the family, my uncle was the first to go down and was brought back after slaying 50% of the guards and my mom was shot in the back. My dad died in front of my eyes as molten eridium was spilled on him and gave me the bomb so I could escape… my uncle wasn't heard of again. My uncle is Krieg Silverworth, the man in front of you, formerly known as Krieg" everyone's jaw dropped.

That night when Tina fell asleep she had a flashback.


	8. The Dream

Literally this is chapter 7 and a half. I couldn't make the flashback #8 so deal with it. It took so long because its long so deal with it.

_ Tina woke up on the teleport station on Eden-5 while her dad, Kyle was waking her up finally seeing that she's awake said "come on honey uncle Krieg doesn't want us to be late to visit him." Tina looked at her old man and laughed "Let's go daddy! Will uncle give me another doll making machine!" Kyle looked at her and said "Maybe" and was called by his wife, Katrina "Come on Kyle and Tina, Lucy and I are beating you guys to it."_

_ When they got to the Hyperion moon base Jack, the Hyperion president showed them to their room and said "Kyle, glad to meet you! Krieg has said so much about you!" smiling, Tina then noticed a 20 year old girl behind him. "Oh Tina I forgot to introduce you to my daughter Angel." Tina held out her hand for Angel to shake it, yet she didn't. "Why don't you guys get comfy in your room?" Jack suggested pulling Angel with him. Tina followed them because she wanted to play dolls with Angel and saw them go through a door and heard Jack yell "You're supposed to be nice to them! They are the relatives of my best mechanic who won't work without them since their entire family are mechanics!" she then heard Angel yell back "You don't control my life!" Then Jack yelled "Fine go back to your computer room! Not like your mother would care! Where is she after you KILLED her and your unborn sister!"_

_ Tina ran to get to her room as a loudspeaker was blaring "Hi workers, Handsome Jack here! I would like to ask all of the scientists researching the infinite monkey theorium please enter the psycho testing area to check if they have written Hamlet yet! Last time they wrote that old series captain underpants! Now make sure they don't! Also make sure each monkey gets their share of meat because we have a surplus of bananas but no monkeys so whoever thought of the psychos just so you know! YOUR FIRED!"_

_ When Tina got back to her room and saw Lucy and Krieg playing chess on the floor Lucy looked like she was winning because her blue siren tattoos were glowing. Lucy is the same age as Angel Tina thought as Lucy did the final move and Krieg laughed "That was the third win in a row! Are you really not using your Phaseread?" Tina and Lucy exchanged glances as Tina's skin glowed yellow and a miniature explosion blew up Krieg's glasses. "Really? Tina when I find you I'm going to tickle you!" Tina giggled and scrambled as Krieg removed his glasses and picked both up. "Tina. Just because you were born as a duosiren doesn't mean that you have to use your powers always to help your sister." Tina pulled Lucy's dress and tugged her towards Angel's room. "Wait! If I'm going out there I need my covering makeup. You do too" Lucy rubbed their siren tattoo covering makeup on Lucy's blue and Tina's yellow tattoos. They then left_

_ "I think she's also a siren!" said Tina. They almost literally bumped into Jack and Jack helped them up somewhat reluctantly and said "You guys should be more careful." He turned to leave but Tina quickly said "Is Angel a siren like Lucy?" Jack looked shocked "How… How did you… Know that?" Lucy and Tina said in unison "Krieg told us. Both of us are sirens!" Jack's jaw dropped as if he were thinking something. "I'm a normal siren!" said Lucy and Tina said "I'm a duosiren!" Jack then asked "What's a duosiren?" Tina explained "A duosiren is a secondary siren which there can only be one for each living siren. I'm the duo for my sister." Jack then walked away with anger in his eyes._

_ Tina brought Lucy to Angel's room. When they got there Tina asked "You had an unborn sister?" Angel looked darker than before and gravely said "Yes. She was what you call a duosiren. Her power was Telefocus. I can tell yours" and pointed a Lucy "Is Phaseread. And yours" pointing at Tina "Is Telexplode" there was a pound on the door "I can get you out of here! Activate Phaseshift" The sisters glowed light blue and vanished as Jack busted into the room and shouted "Krieg stole the vault key." Tina and Lucy appeared in their room while Krieg and the rest of the family were packing really fast. "What's going on said Tina as they finished and bolted out the door. "I found what they're going to going to use the key for! I will not let them rise the destroyer of worlds to grow eridium and then use it to activate the warrior and then the hidden vault on Prometheus holding the Swarm!" said Krieg as they bolted out the door._

_ It wasn't so hard for Hyperion to catch on their trail, soon they had at least the entire Hyperion army on them. Jack shouted "After them! And bring me the two sirens and the mechanic! Krieg must pay!" They ran past the subject testing facility when Krieg collapsed. "Come on Uncle" said Tina "I'm sorry. I can't. I'll hold them off now run!" Krieg went into his bag and brought out his chainsword and his newly designed shotgun, the Conference Call. They ran leaving Krieg to fight against the waves of loaders. _

_ Krieg ran straight into the lines ripping apart robots as Tina looked back. They eventually hit a wall where they were cornered. "Lucy take Tina. Me and your mom will fight!" said Kyle "Now go!" Both girls ran and found a teleport station. Jack was right behind them "Your uncle made the biggest mistake of his life. You two are now my prisoners!" They then teleported. They hit the ground in a partially frozen tundra._

_ They woke up the next morning and looked around. Then a stranger appeared "Hi girls" he said "You are my new…" he never finished the sentence. Standing behind him was a soldier of the Dahl Corp who was holding a gun. Behind him was a siren and two men, one skinny and the other giant. "Hello. I see that marauder tried to kill you. I'm Roland leader of the Crimson Raiders._

Then Tina woke up.


End file.
